Lord Sugar reflects on his life in the mother of parliaments. 'I done him up like a kipper,' he says
• Hard to say what, but something has changed in the House of Lords. Less deference, more party politics. And, of course, Lord Sugar. "Lord Oakeshott – I done him up like a kipper," says the peer in the Radio Times. "When it was announced that I was getting a place in the House of Lords, he started banging on about offshore tax, all the companies that I've got and that I'm not the right type of person ... Anyway, I sorted him out, and he don't open his mouth about me any more. I've got this lovely handwritten letter from him, apologising." Still, some change has been for the better.
• More convivial in the Commons, especially among the backbenchers. This an exchange between Edward Leigh, big beast chair of the financial services bill committee and Fabian Hamilton, Labour MP for Leeds North East. "Order. Mr Hamilton, you are eating a banned substance in committee. Will you share it with us," asked the chairman. "I am sorry. You would be most welcome to have my porridge but I will finish it outside," said the MP. "I am sorry, Mr Hamilton – I could not resist it – that you are obliged to leave during the minister's gripping speech," said Leigh. "I apologise for interrupting the minister," replies the Labour man. "If my car had not broken down, I would have had breakfast." Pity Mark Hoban, the financial secretary to the Treasury, who was mid-address when surrealism intervened. "I am at a loss as to what to say, but I am sure that, fortified by his porridge, the hon gentleman will rejoin our proceedings," he said, hopefully.
• High excitement, meanwhile, as campaigners and MPs discuss the Thames sewage problem. Some say a multibillion-pound tunnel is the answer. Some say it isn't. Some say both. "The Thames tunnel is the best direction," said Lib Dem deputy leader Simon Hughes last year. Er, no, it isn't, he said in February. And he isn't the only one apparently unable to make up his mind. There is also independent expert Chris Binnie, who backed the plan for a super-sewer, turned against it, and then, at the start of a meeting called by Hughes at the Commons to mobilise against the scheme, said he had changed his mind and again viewed the super-sewer as the best option – leaving the antis in some difficulty. Some meeting. Just before his dramatic volte-face, Binnie fell off the stage and clattered into a cupboard. By contrast, the Thames seems off-colour but tranquil.
• Consternation among Labourites as their London mayoral man Ken Livingstone is snapped outside his house putting out the rubbish. It isn't the prettiest picture. In the snap, published by the Sun, Ken is naked from the waist up. The most troubling element is that devoid of shirt or even vest, he is wearing braces. London party chair Len Duvall provides an explanation. "Ken has been working so hard and travelling around so many constituencies that the weight is dropping off him. He needs braces to keep his trousers up." Always a place for quality spin.
• Finally, as the first royal paparazzo – who tailed the Windsors, driving Lord Snowdon to distraction – one knows that Ray Bellisario has a certain stickability. Recently he has been pursuing Lord Justice Leveson for permission to raise before the inquiry grievances allegedly committed by the Sunday Times. But Leveson seems just as resolute that Bellisario should not do so. Impasse. And so our friend, now 76, turns his still considerable energies to another target, Michael Parkinson. Bellisario was a guest on Parkinson's very first BBC chatshow in 1971, alongside the late tennis great Arthur Ashe and the comedy actor Terry-Thomas. After a break from his oeuvre, Parkinson is relaunching his chat-show with a venture on Sky. Bellisario wants in on it. "I'm offering you the chance of bringing me back, perhaps as your very first guest," he told Parky. "We have already booked the first series, so no hope there," replied the legend by email. "However, if a second series is forthcoming …" said Parky. Game on, then, for he must know that paparazzo Ray will pursue even the slightest possibility. Parky will be hearing a lot more from him.
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